...et disons bien fort:
« Joyeux Noël ! »
The greatest Disability is Attitude. To change the way we behave, we have to change the way we think. To change the way Society behaves, we have to change the way Society thinks.
Protest – Protestation
You talking to me? Tu me parles ?
Reading to Marvin, the cat. Lecture à Marvin, le chat.
So, you listening to me? Alors, tu m'écoutes ?
Pretend sleep. Faire semblant de dormir.
(Could not resist it, had to show them!)
Ageism, or the perception that age means dressing a particular way.
In the same vein, I have been at the receiving end of Racism during my time on Ireland. In fairness, the incidents in question were not numerous. But they each left a deep mark, mainly because they came in series, and from people I became close to, or had to work closely with. In the first one, I eventually had to threaten to involve the Managing Director and put through a formal complaint, as the remarks had gone too far. This was a long time ago, at a time when “immigration” was a fairly new concept in Ireland. But being called “froggy” and told on a daily basis to go back “home” was not pleasant. Arguments that over the years my taxes had paid for this young arrogant pup’s education and enabled him to become an engineer did not have any weight. The threat did, fortunately.
Another incident came from someone I had come to call a friend. I held this person’s opinion quite high, and as a result had increasingly started doubting my judgment on some things as, over time, she seemed to colour my views and how they were perceived by others in an increasingly negative light. My eyes opened, painfully, when one day she eventually said: “you know, people like X and Y say that they appreciate your view points and tell you that you have good ideas, but at the end of the day, what they really mean is that they are quite taken by the way you can express yourself so clearly in English. After all, it’s not your mother tongue!”… Needless to say, that was that of this “friendship”. Strangely, to this day, I am still on excellent terms with X and Y, and do consider them amongst my closest friends!...
What about Abilitism?
Let me give you two examples: during a conversation sometime ago, where someone was describing some new skill her baby had just discovered, and I was exchanging similar prowess about Cathal (as I do, so proudly, worst than any new parent with his or her new child! Grandparents can be fierce in this way), saying he does this but not that yet. The third person present piped in: “Ah but sure, that is to be expected, he is delayed!”
I felt myself getting very angry: what right has anyone, who has not met Cathal, who knows of him only what I tell them, to pass such judgment on his abilities, or lack of, just because of his diagnosis of DS?
But this person surprised me even more since: during a discussion centering on the lack of facilities for Speech and Language Therapy, the question was asked by the same person:
- Why does Cathal need Speech and Language Therapy? He is deaf?
- No, he is not.
Ok, to be honest, when I first heard of signing and Lámh, I did ask Cathal’s Mammy why it was necessary since we knew that he could hear – in my defence, it was only a few months after his birth and I was still catching up on basic information. So one could understand the reaction? Please read on. Because what came next is priceless:
- So, if he is not deaf, why does he need S&L therapy? Has he a cleft palate?
… And this from a trained nurse… who worked for years in Ireland’s leading paediatric hospital (in Crumlin)… in the Cardiac wards where half the patients have DS … in the cardiac ICU where a lot of the patients have DS!
Abilitism in full swing!
And when he woke up, his buggy had transformed into a “double-decker”, someone having found refuge in the basket under the seat.
Et quand il s’est réveillé sa poussette était devenue « à l’impériale », quelqu’un ayant trouvé refuge dans le panier sous le siège.
“Hey ! who’s that ?”
« Ben, c’est qui? »
“It’s Marvin my new cat!”
« C’est Marvin mon nouveau chat! »
Cathal must have had a great time, as he gave me one of his most beautiful smiles when I got him up this morning (the Mammy and the Dad where still asleep after a Long Night… !). That totally made up for the Very Early hour.
Cathal a du bien s’amuser, car il m’a donné un de ses plus beaux sourires quand je l’ai levé ce matin (la Maman et le Papa étaient encore endormis après une Longue Nuit … !). Cela a complètement compenser pour une heure Très Matinale.
And when I left to go home, Cathal did something he never did before : he was in his Mammy’s arms as I waved goodbye, but threw himself into mine, and gave me the biggest and strongest of all hugs. When I gave him back to his Mammy, he had a very sad little face, the bottom lip was pouting out as if about to cry. He refused to understand he would see me again in just a few days…. How much I love my Little Prince!
Et quand je l’ai quitté pour rentrer chez moi, Cathal a fait quelque chose qu’il n'avait jamais fait avant: il était dans les bras de sa Maman alors que je faisais au revoir de la main, mais il s’est jeté dans mes bras, et m’a donné le plus gros et le plus fort de tous les câlins. Quand je l’ai rendu à sa Maman, son petit visage était tout triste, la lèvre inférieure poussée en avant comme s’il allait pleurer. Il a refusé de comprendre qu’il va me revoir dans quelques jours… Comme j’aime mon Petit Prince !
Cathal is now 18 months old since last Friday, and it is 6 months since his open heart surgery. Doesn’t he look well?
Cathal a maintenant 18 mois depuis vendredi dernier, et cela fait 6 mois depuis son opération à cœur ouvert. N’est-il pas en pleine forme ?
.
And also for Hugs, of course!
Et aussi pour Câlins, bien sur !
Sorry for the sound: today was warm, but oh so windy!
Désolée pour le son, il faisait bon aujourd’hui, mais avec beaucoup de vent !
Hummm! Rice cakes!
A good night sleep is all I need
Sunday morning, and after breakfast (a Very Early breakfast!) I got him to discover a very special set: a desk and chair that were used by his uncle when he was small,
and Cathal’s Mammy before that,
and Cathal’s Mammy’s aunt before that (e.g. my little sister),
... and
... me before that!
Yes, this desk and this chair were mine when I was very small, and I still have them. I brought them over from France years ago when my children were small, so they could use them.
And now it’s Cathal’s turn. How cool is that?